I was a little bit behind there for a minute, but I'm back on track now. Got the O, the P, and the Q posted, and today is R.
I thought making myself participate in this A to Z challenge, even unofficially, would help to resuscitate my desire to write. Only it hasn't lit the fire under my ass like I hoped.
In the moment, if I catch the right inspiration, I can knock out the few hundred words I need for a blog post. Once, I even threw down almost two thousand words on a new novel/idea. But I can't seem to find the spark that spurred me to finish my first novel back in 2014.
Too much chaos. Too much insecurity. Too much anxiety. Too much distraction. Too much, too much, too much!
I can't seem to focus. I find myself moving from one thought or action to the next without completion. And then, I spin so fast that eventually it looks like I'm not even moving at all.
I need to flatline for a while. Stop all movement. Cease all action. Remove all thought. Normally that's what sleep would be for. Unfortunately, I dream so much that what should be my restful hours are just as frenetic as the waking ones.
If I could just go deep enough inside myself for just the right amount of time, I really believe I could resuscitate not only my writring, but my heart and brain as well. And then, look out! There's no telling what I could do!
April 21, 2017